Episode 67

Swinging: It’s Not All Orgasms 💦 & Sunshine ☀️

On Friends With A Twist, we spend most of our time sharing the euphoric highs and positive connections that make the lifestyle so amazing. After all, the title of our show implies the fun and excitement of it all!

But in Episode 67’s Life in the Lifestyle segment we pulled back the curtain to remind you that we are, in fact, human. As we discussed on the air, the truth is, we have our fair share of fails and negative stuff too.

We shared a few of our most regrettable lifestyle moments so that you can learn from our mistakes and feel less alone when the inevitable "swing and a miss" happens to you. Here are a couple examples from the segment:

1. The Listener Voted Winner: No Chemistry During Play

To kick off our segment, we shared the results (see below) of our X poll asking listeners about their most common "swinger fail." The clear winner, validating all of your experiences, was "No chemistry during play."

This is an emotional and physical letdown that happens more often than anyone likes to admit. All the signals point to “yes,” but sometimes once you get started it becomes a “no.”  It often breaks down into two types:

1. Physical Misalignment: The physical connection just isn't there. Maybe the rhythm is off, the energy is wrong, or one person is too aggressive while the other is too gentle. It’s hard to achieve that physical flow when the movement is disjointed.

2. Emotional Misalignment: This is the "head stuff" that kills the mood. You might feel a lack of presence, or a partner might feel ignored. When the emotional connection is missing, the session stalls.

Chemistry is the ultimate wild card. Sometimes, no matter how good the conversation is beforehand, the physical spark just won't ignite. It sucks, but it does happen - Try not to  internalize it!!

2. The Misleading Profile: The SLS "Hot Date" Disaster

When you’re looking for a connection online, you’re often operating on faith—and photos. Madison and Barry shared a classic "regrettable date" that stemmed from a misleading profile.

They connected with a single male through a Hot Date on SLS whose pictures looked too perfect: "model photos, nice tan, chiseled jaw, shoulder-length brown hair." Madison admitted her gut instantly said, "Too good to be true."

Sure enough, when they met in person, the man who showed up looked "sickly thin" and was a poor representation of his profile. The drastic difference killed the physical connection immediately, resulting in disappointment.

The Lesson: While dating apps are necessary, use them as a starting point, not a guarantee. If a profile seems suspiciously perfect, approach the first meeting with a healthy dose of caution. Looks shouldn’t be everything, but honesty about presentation is a vital part of respect.

3. Not Being Your Best Self Can Lead to Regret

Kenzie and Gary’s story highlighted a different kind of fail—one based entirely on poor planning and lack of self-care.  The lifestyle is not purely an opportunistic endeavor; it demands cognitive, emotional, and physical readiness.

They had a fantastic opportunity lined up with a couple named Rain and Mona. However, Kenzie confessed she "hit a wall" that night. She was tired and cranky, and admitted to having drank too much alcohol and not enough water. 

In her exhaustion and inebriation, Kenzie told Gary, "f*ck it. I'm going to bed. Have fun. Go do what you want." She regretted not having her shit together when she realized she missed a really cool opportunity where Gary went on to play with the couple.

The Lesson: This is a lifestyle, not a race. As we stress on the podcast, you need to be on your A-game to fully enjoy these experiences. Don't let a lack of self-care—like over-drinking or poor sleep—cause you to miss out on the very fun you’re seeking.

Our Final Reminders: Learn from the "Swinger Shit"

It’s crucial to remember that the lifestyle is not always everything you hoped it would be. The negative experiences are unavoidable, but they are also incredibly valuable learning experiences that help you define your boundaries and hopefully make better choices  in the future.

• Use Your Words: Don't be afraid to stop things in the moment if you are uncomfortable. Your comfort and safety are non-negotiable.

• Communicate with Your Partner: As always, the most important takeaway is to communicate with your partner about the experience, good or bad. Discussing the "swinger shit" helps you both know where to go and what to change next time.

We all go through it. Keep trying, keep learning, and keep communicating!

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